So Thursday Jamie asked me if she could go to the movies with her friend and Matt and Holly. I wasn't happy about it but they swore that is really what they were going to do. Suspision started sinking in when Matt did not show for the movie time. When i asked Jamie she said they were going to the next showing. When Matt finally did get home he said he had to go to Holly's brothers house for something....Now my red flag went up!!!! I said, I hope your not lying to me and I hope your not going to get your little sister High. Of course my wiseass son had some sarcastic thing to say... I told them I would drug test Jamie when they got back, and if she came up "dirty" that she would be grounded and he and Holly would be kicked out. This was the warning BEFORE THEY LEFT!!!! They were fore warned. However they choose to get jamie high and I did what I said I was going to do. First I went to the movie place to see if they were there, and they were....So I felt good about that, but I still felt something inside saying, he bought pot from her brother and he is going to smoke with Jamie. So I went to walmart and bought a test..20 BUCKS!!! I had no money but I HAD to buy it. I had to do what I said I would do....... So they got home late and I had to go to sleep for work the following day, but I had it planned out anyway, kind of a suprise attack. I told her I had a suprise for her after work friday, and when i got home I showed it to her. I said are you going to pass it and she said yes. So when the time came to take the test I could just see it in her face that she was lying about knowing she would pass. Suddenly she was like, well I don't know....I said Jamie are you going to pass and she said "NO.." Well its not hard to put two and two together and she said she smoked with Matt and Holly. Well that was all I had to hear. I grounded her, no cell phone and no PC for 2 weeks. As for Matt I called him and said ALOT and told him that I had enough and how dare he do this and he had some smart mouth stuff to say back...but bottom line is, I said get out and stay out.
Tough love is hard to do, and hard to live with, my heart is aching inside, I want the best for my son, not what he is doing and keeps doing. I can't help him anymore, it is killing me and I am tired of him taking advantage of me. Now he is getting his sister high. A month ago he was saying he would kick the sh** out of anyone who tried to get her high, but him and her go and do it. THEY Are 18, its illegal. I AM PISSED.
I can't wait till he goes to court for the stealing in Walmart. I can't wait till he gets on Adult probation and he will get drug tested AGAIN!!! Hopefully he will straighten himself out. I just PRAY SO MUCH that he does. I want to be proud of my kids, not ashamed by everything they do. I want jamie to go back to being a Distiquished Honoroll student!!!! UGH. I also want Matt to respect me. I know tomorrow when I go to work that he will come to this house, he will more then likely destroy something or do something that he shouldn't do....I am sure he will open my mail like he keeps doing. I just have ZERO trust for him and it is making me feel sick inside knowing he will come here tomorrow when I am at work. Just like he had done the year he got sent away., I would tell him no one was allowed in the house and everyday I would go to work and he was supposed to be in school he would bring loser assholes in my house. I had to tell the probation department because they were not doing their job AT ALL. and then FINALLY he was sent away.. Little did I know that I would still PAY for that too. My CHILDSUPPORT I have to pay to the state because they sent him away...3000 bucks worth.... So no matter what I get screwed over by my son. he just keeps taking from me, keeps hurting me, keeps stealing from me, keeps betraying me, keeps dissapointing me..........and so on. As always my heart is aching, and I am alone threw it all.....
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