Matthew is gone............

I guess you would expect me to be happy about that, but to be honest I am so upset about it. I just wish I could have gotten to him. Made him make better choices, but he doesn't listen to me. And now he is gone. I do not even know where he is staying. He did come back to the house today to get some clothes, and I did go out and buy a new door lock. But again, I am so upset I lost my son. I love him so much, I have loved that boy since the day I found out I was pregnant with him, and I will never stop loving him. I know he thinks I do not love him but its so untrue, it is the behavior that I do not like AT ALL. Now my biggest fear is that Matt with get deeper into drugs and I hope to god he doesnt slip so far away that I can never get him back. From this point on all I can do is PRAY to god that Matt finds his way back to me and he wakes up and realizes his family loves him, but will not tolerate his bullsh** behavior. Tonight my heart is broken much worse then ever before. I MISS him. I MISS having him here. WAKE UP MATTHEW, get away from losers and straighten your life out before its too late. I love you
Mom